Metal magic

This time of year you get lists for everything - greatest albums, greatest films, bands, whatever. J and I briefly toyed with the idea of creating our own...and being too lazy to compile this into an actual list, as usual, here's our conversation:

J: see, i think if we did a list, it's be awesome, i think you should do that for leatherman, like a list of most metal moments, but by us...and we know some cool facts! yeah, we hate lists, but we don't hate our own, because we know we're right ;)

M: umm...okay, most metal moments then? that anvil vid is a pretty good one. can't think of anything else off the top of my head? that municipal waste gig at the fighting cocks? i dunno, i'm not that impressed by anything much...

J: vince neil killing razzle :D

M: :O

:)) ooooops!

umm...i think its mean on razzle to put that in there :P

but we can blatantly just add in "everything that vince neil does EVER"

J: off the top of my head;
megaman electrocuting ron mcgovney and then beating up james
the hirax demo
phils bad back
you get the idea - stupid things we love to take the piss out of

M: phil coming back to life, there's one i love :D

the keel right to rock video ;)

J: > phil coming back to life
and douchebag not coming back to life :)
> the keel right to rock video ;)
see, bad-fucking-ass!
see, silly shit we love.

J then completed a huge list of his "most metal moments", which I've copied down here - but with my replies under each as well. As you've prolly noticed before, we do not always agree.

J: Me throwing a Snickers bar at Cradle of Filth... and missing.
M: no

J: Malefic being locked in a coffin to record vocals on Black One
M: maybe

J: The ever changing musical style of Rob Flynn
M: no

J: Keel's Right to Rock video
M: YES

J: Anvil's Mad Dog video (soley for the purpose of the dog turning into Lips)
M: YES

J: Vince Neil killing Razzle (and anything Vince Neil does)
M: only the stuff that vince neil does, i'm not specifically putting accidental drunken murder in there. but now i write it like that, it seems maybe to fit after all.....

J: Anything Seth Putnam does!
M: YES

J: Hirax's 1984 demo
M: YES

J: The Wet Cherry dude from the Decline 2 documentary
M: what?

J: Jim Gillette's hair (and voice)
M: no

J: Michael Angelo Batio's quad-necked guitar (before it was stolen)
M: YES

J: Bret Michaels' mis-spelled tattoo
M: YES YES 1000 times YES

J: This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BdP6lI6kqc
M: fucking YES!

J: John Corobi getting what he thought was the name of the new Motley Crue album he was to sing on for them to change the name and release what he got tattooed as a live album with Vince singing.
M: perhaps (it seems like we should just make another list of the ultimately funny stuff in metal - these aren't exactly metal's "greatest" moments......)

J: ODIN! (Odin, Odin, Odin, Odin.........)
M: no

J: The gorgeous Dan Lilker
M: no

J: Scott and Charlie for single-handedly ruining anthrax
M: no

J: Burton C Bell's hairline (and his inability to realise no one likes his side projects)
M: hehehehe yeah maybe :)

J: Dave Mustaine electrocuting Ron McGovney and beating up James.
M: YES

J: Cliff Burton... for being crushed by a fucking bus!
M: YES. twice!!!!

J: Jason's bass from Justice
M: hey!!!! D:<

J: Sebastian Bach forgetting the words to Youth Gone Wild on Nevermind the Buzzcocks
M: no

J: Sleep spending all their major label advance on weed and amps, recording dopespmoker, then getting dropped.
M: no

J: Phil Anselmo coming back to life (and Dimebag not.)
M: yes, but i won't mention dimebag

J: Dylan Carlson's sexy voice
M: NO.

So there you have it. It's more J's list than mine, but then I suffer from an atrocious memory and tend not to remember these sorts of things.

Anyone have their own ideas? I'm sure most of the above won't make it on to the usual "greatest" anything lists - can I entice any of you (all 4 of you who read this) to share your thoughts?

Old news - Splitting hairs

(From 22nd September 2008)

J: for your iRod :D
(He sent me the actual song, but here's the link to a shitty live youtube version, just for you!)

M: this is from one of the cds you were showing me last night isn't it? can't remember which though...although i suppose i could google it

J: it's stevie sex summer's band :D

M: those pretty boy floyd people? i always imagined them being a kind of grungy band whenever i heard anyone mention them, i was actually quite surprised when i saw the cd cover!!

J: nope - they're a third rate glam band that came about a bit late, but the Leather Boyz album is like Tuff's CD I have, and underated classic :)
rumour has it that he wears a wig, which is great :)

M: probably does wear a wig - i bet its pretty tough having to keep up hair that big - even dave muff stain who still has very good hair - even his isn't as big like on the back of peace sells :)

J: i love old bands that go bald :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQBCAjxjseM
listen to the dude heckling - kinda lame, but funny. trixter are on that booze crooze thing with scab row and firestorm :P

M: so they're not just scab bands, but old, bald scab bands? ;D

J: at least stevie rachelle admited he had a hair transplant done with the money he earnt from being on a major label for tuff's first album before they were dropped! the other's just wear silly wigs like don dokken and bret michaels


M: i think its usually pretty obvious when people start losing their hair - if they're at least honest about it, it takes away most of the ground for people making fun of them - bret michaels is just a complete joke now! :D

J: one word: Dio!
i personally don't think axl is losing his hair, the corn rows aint helping, but his hair looked ok the year before it was done.
don dokken on the other hand has been noticed with a variety of wigs
haha: bretswig.com

M: hahaha thats the best pic ever it looks like he's in a caveman movie or something.....and yeah, has miraculously reversed the aging process on his hair! how does he think that will pass as his own? i think people need to take action pretty fucking early (i.e. before they start losing it haha!) before they start making out like they have thick flowing locks :D worst thing is - it doesn't make him look any better, he looks like some weird wiggy poser!

J: bret did admit he had extensions but not a wig, but i think he's lying :)

M: totally! extensions make your hair thicker or longer, they don't give you a whole new hairline!

J: and you have women competing for this man's love!

M: yeah but look at those women! they look and sound like old transvestites, i personally wouldn't want them anywhere near me, let alone go on endless dates with those horrible creatures!*

*I meant "horrible creatures" in the best kind of way; I HEART Rock of Love

Though it's been a while now, I can still feel so much pain

J: MACHINE HEAD Frontman Vows To 'Crush' LIMP BIZKIT At U.K.'s SONISPHERE Festival - LOL, BAAAAAAAW!!! fuck rob, and fuck his shitty band!

M: wow, i think he should have just shut up about it. they're kind different kinds of music now, he shouldn't have mentioned it at all and just got on with he, he's embarassing

J: Why were they added as special guests, to make them feel a bit more
important?

M: yeah i didn't get that either. was it so their actual name didn't have to appear under LB's? didn't make any sense to pull out and then actually decide to do it after all. what wankers

J: I think to make it look good and also not to have LB above them in
theory. I hate machine head, but i hate them more now

M: i didn't really hate them before, but this is embarassing. i don't want people to think i'm backing this wankery, in the words of william shatner: "i can't get behind that".

a short while later...

M: MACHINE HEAD Frontman Says LIMP BIZKIT's DJ LETHAL Is Acting Like 'An Internet Tough Guy - really, rob, shut up. seriously. this is like when brett michaels got hit by that scenery.

J: Ten years ago machine head sounded like LB, rob needs to fuck off as
this is really really annoying me! Quick talking shit about each other
and have a fight.

and later still....

M: LIMP BIZKIT's DJ LETHAL To MACHINE HEAD: 'The Only Thing Crushed Was Your Egos'

J: He's right :)

M: yeah he is a bit :) see, if rob flynn had just kept quiet, shit like this would never come back at them

M: This is gonna go on for some time, i reckon. At least brett michaels has shut up :) but seriously though, there's nothing to gain from this unless the fists do the talking, which could have happened saturday, but rob's the one acting like a tough guy here :/

M: its seriously, seriously shameful. you're right, if they just punched each other in the face for a bit, whoever walks away with the most teeth can declare themselves the most br000000tal but this pussying around chucking words at each other over the internet is fucking weak.

J: As i said before, ten years ago they could have been the same band.
Rob's in no position to comment about it